7 Truths to Consider Before Scheduling Your 1st Premarital Appointment

Premarital therapy is an investment, and like every worthwhile investment, it requires time, openness, and sacrifice.

Answer these 7 questions {together} before scheduling an initial session to ensure that you’re ready for the process and will get the most out of your experience…

#1 Have we both agreed that we would like to marry each other?

Premarital therapy is for couples who’ve both decided and agreed to marry one another. If the desire to marry is one-sided and not mutual, premarital therapy isn’t the space for you, yet. If this is your experience, consider engaging in relationship therapy first to help unveil and navigate your relationships path.

#2 Are we willing to engage in premarital at least 6 months before our ceremony?

Six months is the minimal amount to ensure that you have enough time explore, work through and address any issues that need to be beforehand. This provides enough time to comfortably engage in and apply the process. Sessions are encouraged to be flexible and engaged in at a reasonable pace. No rushes here :)

#3 Are we willing and comfortable with making the investment?

Premarital is a financial investment offered in the form of a package. Insurance is not accepted to cover payment. This investment addresses marriage sensitive topics and teaches interpersonal skills to help you create the marriage culture you both want and avoid marriage repairs as much as possible.

#4 Are we willing to be completely transparent with one another?

If you’re not at the point of truth telling, disclosing all relevant information (because non-disclosure is lying too) and sharing transparently, no worries. Consider individual therapy first. An intentional lack of honesty with yourself or your partner is an issue of the heart, and if not resolved is guaranteed to disrupt your partnership. Premarital therapy encourages an open, honest, and safe space for both partners to freely share and be.

#5 Will we approach this process like a team?

You are a team, no matter what (with the exception of abuse and whatever else your personal non-negiotables may be). This is the lens you should wear before commiting your lives to one another. If your relationship feels one-sided or like you’re opponents, premarital may not be the best step for you at the moment. If you’re not confident in your ability to stand up for and support one another and the relationship, premarital may not be for you, yet. Consider relationship or couples therapy, instead. This focuses on repairing hurts and betrayals in the relationship that are unresolved and may be causing a sense of division.

#6 Are we prepared to put in the work in between sessions and wholeheartedly apply what we’ve learned?

Because premarital is about preparation, prevention and collective growth, it encourages you to engage in both tangible and intangible assignments in the in between for you to experience the best results. Consider if you both are ready to make this investment.

#7 Can we commit to getting a good night’s rest at least the night before we attend counseling sessions?

Of course to get the best experience, you have to come in at your best time and show up as your best self. Rest is essential to making this happen. If you can make this commitment on the day before your appointment (and hopefully the days to come), consider starting with these steps…

1) limit your screen time (TV, social media, etc.) and 2) your caffeine intake to early morning time (if you need it at all :), 3) consume a generous amount of water, and 4) engage in a soothing night time routine. Trust me, you’ll feel all the difference and in return, your marriage relationship will too.

What other questions do you have about the premarital therapy process? Send me a note and I’ll get back to you.

To a life of love, discipline, and wealth…

Amaris


Amaris W