10 Kind Ways to Say “No” to Unwanted Conversation During This Holiday Season

In our world, we all have options. Take my world for example.

In 2007, I graduated high school and had the option to keep working at Old Navy or go to college and pursue my career passion. I chose the latter. 

This enhanced my life. 

In 2013, I was in 6 year old relationship and had the option to continue being in dysfunction or let the ish go. I chose the latter (Thank God). 

This saved my life. 

In 2018, I was at a holiday event when a random asked when I was having a baby. Y’all, I hadn’t even been married 6 months. But here, I had the option of engaging in an uncomfortable dialogue or politely shutting it down. I chose the latter. 

And this preserved my life. And continues to as I choose to opt out of conversations and practices that deplete more than nourish me. 

Here’s what I want you to remember this holiday season while you’re kicking it with family and friends- 

Your life is your life and you have options too. 

The option of providing explanations about topics that are off limits to them and sensitive to you or kindly redirecting the conversation. 

The option of creating the memories you want to have or going along with the traditions that were set in place for you. 

The option of choosing your own, authentic path or walking one that has been defined for you. 

Here are 10 kind responses to help you set your limits in unwanted conversations this holiday and feel most comfortable. Remember, the choice is yours.

  1. “That part of my life isn’t up for discussion though I am open to sharing …” (insert as little or as much as you are comfortable with sharing ex. random fact, how your days have been going, how you are “…that I’m well”)

  2. “I’m not okay with answering that question.”

  3. “That’s not a discussion I wish to have right now. May we discuss something else?”

  4. “This conversation is a no for me.”

  5. “I don’t feel good about where this is going. Let’s pause for now.”

  6. “Girl, bye.” Optional follow up: “Did you see…?” (insert surface – news, sports, music- dialogue thats relatable)

  7. “I can’t say.” Optional follow up: “Have you given thought to …. or have you been keeping up with… ?” (insert tv episode or general news topic or trend)

  8. “That answer is off limits though I can share this…” (whatever you’re comfortable with)

  9. “Hmm… not something I’d like to discuss right now.”

  10. “I’d rather not comment on that.”

You see the options we choose determine the life we create for ourselves and the ones we love. Remember, your happiness is created- one choice and adjustment after the other.  And Prackind has the tools, practices and conversations to help you do the inner work and move through difficult emotions so that you can confidently make choices that are best for you and live well. If you’re tired of being on the fence and ready to become your best self now, send us a note here to schedule your 1st appointment today.

With love & gratitude,

Amaris

Read disclaimer here.

Amaris Watson Gale

Amaris Watson Gale is a sex therapist and mental health provider based in Maryland and Washington D.C. She is the founder of Prackind, The Wellness Group, a private counseling practice in Lanham, MD that serves teens, adults and couples. You can find Amaris Watson Gale at www.prackind.com.

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